That's why I am creating this. I am finding it increasingly difficult to respond to every person that asks about what's happening "now"- it's hard to talk about and nearly impossible to find time for! It's not that I don't appreciate my family and friends and understand their concern- it's just different when it's all directed at me. I feel out of the loop, as everyone seems to be making up their own minds about what I should do, based on what they might do, based on the doctors having only 1 (extrememly bad) course of treatment for this, and the fact that I have a child I am supposed to think about, not to mention all the talking that is going on behind my back these days. I have become a lab rat.
This is what the doctor wants to do: put a hole in my chest to start- pump me full of 2 poisons for a full week, 24 hours/day, to ensure my entire immune system is destroyed, then wait to see if I develop infections (if so, treat with more poisons), for a total inpatient hospital stay of approx 4-6 weeks, if I don't die from it or have to stay longer due to infection. This is supposed to kill everything then let me start over and *hope* things start growing back normally, whatever that is. Following that, I am supposed to have 2? more weeks of poison to ensure that everything really is destroyed, cause we can't count on that 1st toxic dose to do the job. More weeks in the hospital.
I asked for any other possible options, and I have an appt shortly to discuss that- which of course the answer will be exactly the same. (no other options from the medical point of view)
The bone marrow biopsies held 12 days apart (Jan 17th & 28th) showed no change in the amount of "cancerous" cells. Holding steady... which doesn't mean much to me. I have been doing my own research on the subject and have discovered how they can mistake fungal infections for cancer (funny how chemo tends to lead to fungal infections...) but I am not sure there is "time" to be the guinea pig to test that theory.
I have no symptoms of this disease, which makes this hard to believe that anything is wrong. Makes it hard to offer myself up for potentially lethal injections.
For now, I am eating accordingly (organically as well) to reduce any possible fungus/yeast in my system (see knowthecause.com- Phase 1 diet), supplementing with natural anti-fungal vitamins, chorella, baking soda, raw veg juice...just about anything I know of or have found out about to make conditions in my body difficult for cancer cells, fungus & yeast to thrive. Maybe that's why there is no change in my statistics. Maybe not.
Either way, I am at a point of deciding the course. Doing what my family seems to want me to do, going along with the doctors, succumbing to my fears that I can't fix this on my own, and going against nature's course, or stepping out of the system and working toward healing without poisons. Seriously, neither way has any guarantees toward prolonging my life. Maybe my time truly is up, and it's a matter of convincing myself of that too.
So that's "The Latest".